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’ I just sat there, as the memories from my own horrible abusive childhood came flashing through my head. Then I asked,’ Can I see her?’ The social worked nodded her head up and down as she said,’ I’ll go get her, but she’s a mess, Earl, the sight of her may break your heart or sicken you.’ Then she got up and went into another room in the back of her office. She came back quickly with a sniffing raggedly dressed four year old girl in tow. She was the filthiest dirtiest looking child I’ve ever seen. Her hair was, matted and tangled. She had itchy looking pink spots all over her arms and legs. Her tears were streaking her dirty cheeks, as she sobbed. She had the saddest looking big red watery brown eyes I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t help myself and I fell in love with her the minute I laid my eyes on her. The little girl looked up at Mrs. Washington and sobbed as she asked in a soft scared child’s voice, ‘Who’s that big man over there?’ as she pointed at me. My heart was breaking as I. Anyway, when she would stay over, we'd often talk about her fixation in the twilight of our oncoming slumber. During those times, I always felt as though I could almost see an apparition near the bed.After the split, I was lying in bed alone in that twilight state. It was a warm summer night, and I'd had the windows open for the breeze. As I lie there on top of the covers, I called out to our ghost fully exposed. I've always slept in the nude.We'd always assumed that it was a woman. I can't recall where that came from, but we did. I told her to come and pleasure me, but the only thing that came over me was sleep. I woke in the morning feeling a bit ridiculous and also certain that there was no such thing.It was a week or so later, after a particularly grueling week at the print shop, that I'd had a different experience. I was exhausted every night for the last ten days and hadn't even attempted to contact my ex. I was the one that usually caved and called her when I needed.
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